Do I have to forgive someone that hurt me deeply?

Does God call us to forgive others? We know He does but why can it feel so difficult?

Often, we misunderstand what forgiveness really means. We think forgiving someone means what they did doesn't matter. We think it means excusing the offense, overlooking the hurt, or pretending everything is okay.

But that's not what forgiveness is at all.

What happened matters. The wound matters. The betrayal matters. Your pain matters because you matter to God.

His call to forgive is not a cold command to move on. It is a loving invitation to stop letting the offender have ownership of your peace.

When Scripture calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven in Christ, God is not minimizing what happened to us. He's not letting evil off the hook. He's inviting us into the freedom Jesus purchased for us.

Forgiveness is not denying the offense isn't real, it's acknowledging it and then entrusting it to where all debts were paid: the cross.

Jesus did not die because sin is no big deal. He died because sin is costly. At the cross, God dealt with sin fully and completely. So when we forgive, we are not forfeiting justice. We are simply choosing not to be the judge, jury, and collector of the debt.

Holding on to bitterness can feel like protection, but it eventually becomes a prison. It keeps the wound alive and robs our peace and joy. Forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation, restored trust, or the removal of boundaries. Those may require wisdom, time, and repentance. But it does mean releasing the burden of trying to repay.

In Christ, forgiveness is not letting the offender win—it is letting grace free your heart.

Forgiveness is a choice, not just a feeling. And as believers, we make that choice from the security of being fully forgiven and deeply loved by Jesus, knowing that the One who forgave us now lives in us. 

And as you entrust the hurt to Him, you can rest in the freedom of letting it go, knowing that what happened matters, but knowing something else matters even more: Jesus has already carried the debt, and He is leading you into freedom.

A Prayer for This Week

Father, thank You for caring deeply about my heart. Thank You for fully forgiving me and carrying every debt at the cross. Teach me what forgiveness looks like in truth, grace and wisdom. Help me release revenge, bitterness, and fear into Your hands as I trust You with what I cannot change, fix, or control. Remind me that my identity is secure in Christ, not in what was done to me, and lead me into the freedom only You can provide. Amen. 

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Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Colossians 3:13